Doors

What do you think of when you see a door? Why are we so afraid to walk through them? I love doors and the way the look. I've been wanting to paint my front door RED for the longest time. Doors can be inviting and they can also be scary because we never know what will be on the other side. Our family is going to a transition in our life and even though we don't know what's on the other side we are excited to see what God has planned for our life once we close a door and open another. So no matter what we are going through in life we know that this won't be the last door to close or open. Don't be afraid to face whatever is on the other side because you should always remember the following verse. Romans 8:28: And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. My prayer is that you walk with the confidence of knowing that God is next to you, guiding you. He will never forsake you.

Clarinda

BE FEARLESS

I'm not exactly sure what this means but if it means what I think it does then life is about to get interesting. I never thought this year would get here as soon as it did. Next week I'm turning 40!!! Wow, when did that happen? I ask myself where did the time go and then I remember where it went. 18 years went to school, 19 years when to raising a beautiful daughter, 2 years went to raising and having another baby and 21 years went to being with my husband, 15 years went to one employer and the numbers just keep coming. I have a very blessed life when I think of how I spent most of it. Sure I've made many mistakes and said things I regret but through  each moment in time I've learned something; at least I pray that I have. Some things I'm still learning as the days pass along and I know I'll still make mistakes. When I think of 40 I think of someone who is a lot wiser than they were 20 years ago. Someone who is fearless. That fearless person is someone I would like to meet within myself and I know when I do things will get even more interesting in my life. So my prayer for myself is to embrace 40 and allow God to unleash what I myself have been suffocating and keeping a lid on. I'm ashamed to think of how much I wasted being afraid. It's quite sad. I'll enjoy the rest of the days until I turn 40 on the 16th. I really want to be fearless and  that is my goal and wish for my 40th Birthday. BE FEARLESS.

Clarinda

Post by Jessica Florea....I'm DONE!!

I'm Done! http://www.isleepwiththepastor.com/

 

You don't know how much I love the words of wisdom from this Pastor's Wife. Great advice at a much needed time. I love ministry and I love talking about it. It's who we are at this season in our life but I need to be more diligent in placing Christ at the center of everything. When we get news or have to make decisions that aren't always great I pray that I always remember to leave it the Lords hands. Discuss it and then leave it with Him.

 

-Clarinda (Ralph's Partner in Crime)

 

 

May 29, 2014by Jessica Florea

"I'm done!" Those magic words I would say whenever my husband and I got in a huge fight. No, not done with marriage, but done with church and ministry. Unfortunately, I am guilty as charged of using these two words as a tool to hurt. The enemy had whispered the lie in my ear that church was all that mattered to my husband and not our family. And afterwards, he handed me a sword of bitterness to swing on the days our marriage got rough.

How many of you have believed the lie of church being first over your family? It is a believable lie. Just look at what your husband does. He is a pastor called to full time ministry. Turning "off" is hard, and almost every conversation turns into a ministry related one. Every day is centered around the ministry you and your family is called to. Why shouldn't it be? If Jesus, and heaven is the end goal then my life and my husband's life should center around church and ministry, right? Wrong.

Our lives should center around Jesus. He should be the center focus and in the middle of everything we do. God called our family to pastor a church in this season. The devil knows how much work, joy, pain, and TIME it will take. Pastoring a church is one of the hardest and greatest jobs in the world. But unlike most families, pastoring is kind of like mothering. It is full-time around the clock. Unfortunately, us pastors' wives forget that. Kind of like dads forget all we do as mothers for the family. Sometimes we can't comprehend just why our husband can't turn off, and want to listen to us after he has just listened to five other church members for the day.

Don't forget how much work and time it is pastoring a church. When you forget, the devil will be sure to whisper the lie in your ear. The church is not your husband's other wife. A church is just a huge responsibility, and in this season it might need a little more time given to it. Give your husband a little more grace and mercy. I am for sure not giving the pastor an excuse. He still needs to give to his wife's needs, and he needs to love her like Christ loved the church.

Pastor's wife, those hard days. The days that you believe the lie. The days your needs aren't met. Jesus knows, and he is right there with you. Take it to Him. Don't use the words, "Im done." This will create bitterness, and breed animosity between you and your husband and the church. When the going gets rough, love anyways and pray fervently for your husband and the church God has called you to. You will have those days, ministry is hard. But, God knew you were the perfect one to pastor's wife His church. He equipped you with all you needed where He called you.

xo a girl who sleeps with the pastor

My Husband Ralph.............

There are no words to describe how much I love my husband. He is the greatest. We met in High School and began dating the summer of 1992 or 1991. I think 1992. My husband wouldn't be happy that I can't pin down the date but I do remember it was in July. He is the greatest and God has truly blessed me with a great God fearing man who loves me despite my faults. Neither of us are perfect by any means but he never gives up on me and knows I have more to give than anyone. He knows my moods and he knows when I say "fine" it's not always fine. I have to admit it does bother me but it also makes me feel loved. He is my best friend and my constant and I can't imagine doing life with anyone else. He is the father to our two beautiful daughters and I can't wait to see what our future holds. He is a Pastor and has a heart for our city and for those that are lost. I proudly serve alongside him and in my opinion were a great team. I love you Ralph!!!

Your Partner In Crime..................

Final Story: Courage, Self-Awareness, Kindness, Soul-Care and Vision

Welcome Back!!!

Yeah it's been awhile since I've blogged but I was just too busy with things going on that I got sidetracked. I was finally able to finish the book by Jodi Detrick and I just wanted to finish out with some of the great points she gave from her book. I pray that you enjoy these points and that they apply to areas in your life. Again, I recommend anyone in ministry to read this great book.

Chapter 6: Courage
Great leaders make gallant efforts to take risks, even when the odds are overwhelming and the outcome uncertain.

Some women in the bible were braver than they believed, stronger than they seemed, and smarter than they thought. By looking at their lives we glimpse why Jesus-hearted women must be brave if they're gong to lead and last.

If you give fear the upper hand it will displace courage every time. And if those who serve in ministry don't deal with their personal specters of fear, they will be stunted as leaders-or possibly taken out of the game altogether-no matter how gifted they are otherwise.

Chapter 7: Self-Awareness
A wise, Jesus-hearted woman in leadership will guard against defensiveness and self-protectionism.

Having people who honestly tell you the truth is critical.

Jesus modeled for us a non-fragile leadership that cultivated authentic loyalty while allowing for honest expression of thought.

Chapter 8: Kindness
The heart of a great leader and her true effectiveness is based on, and sustained by, kindness.

But being a "first-clapper"-especially applauding those in the rookie stage of life and ministry-is a great place to begin.

Self-righteousness catches the mistakes and misdeeds of others.

We don't correct every small error that others makes.

We don't show others up.

Your demeanor says more than you realize about the kind of leader you are.

Just a few, kind words make all the difference.

Proverbs 16:24 "Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones."

Chapter 9: Soul-Care
Not getting enough sleep or exercise. We forget to leave any white space in our busy calendars just to be: be with our families and friends, be engaged in activities that replenish, be quiet and hear God's voice, be still enough to let His love refill our depleted souls....just be.

When your are sustaining your activity for God with very little relationship with God, you will crash.

But God works to grow us as we help others grow, even when we haven't arrived yet.

We can talk honestly about what God expects of us, and what He provides for us, even when we're still on the journey to live out both fully.

Life with ease starts on the inside as we answer Jesus' quiet, simple invitation to the weary and burdened-to those who have lost their enthusiasm and sense of peace about life.

Rest well, Listen closely, and Produce nothing.

Three crucial components of soul-care to consider: (1) Limits, (2) Boundaries and (3) Replenishment.

1) Life without limits is not good for us.

We humans live life best when we live it in portions, honoring the God-designed limitations placed upon our existence.

2) Enough is Enough (Boundaries)

Limit the number of times I check my email or social media per day.

Live with fewer luxuries.

Limit the number of meetings, speaking, writing or coaching assignments per month.

Limit personal expectations.

Take care of relational obligations.

Replace worry with trust.

"Worry is a cycle of inefficient thoughts whirling around a center of fear," "Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows, it empties today of its strength."

Limit the times I say yes.

"Don't let others, or even needs, set your priorities. Needs and opportunities are not necessarily true indicators of God's will."

3) Replenishment

Gods plans for us to live as a light source for others while we're on our way to see Him face to face, we had better make sure we have, and keep, enough lamp oil to burn brightly through an extremely long and dark night.

God doesn't ask me to solve everyone's problems for them, even in my area of experience or expertise.

He gave attention to the one He was with, in the moment.

When it came to the crowds, Jesus wasn't intimidated. Yet He put space between Himself and the throngs.

Jesus didn't hesitate to withdraw from the multitudes for prayer and solitude.

We simply must be replenished because life drains us.

Chapter 10: Vision
God sometimes conceals, and also reveals, secrets in smallness-if only we have the vision to see.

We catch that vision in different ways: through the inner desires God places in our hearts, by outer circumstances that stir us, and because of the gifts-those God-given talents, abilities, and interests-that beg to be used as an expression of our faith and love.

There's one thing about a vision-once it captures your heart and stirs your passion, it becomes a rudder that steers the course of your life....if you pull up the anchor of hesitation and go with it.

The right vision starts and ends with seeing God more clearly.

Don't let others define or limit your God-given vision.

Vision requires feet. Vision requires us to act on what we see.

Jesus-hearted leaders keep their vision open to course correction.

Jesus-hearted vision shows us the unseen, the things that others miss.

Rest in knowing that your vision is just one part of the bigger picture God sees, and oversees, with great precision.

Passion

Steven Furtick Sticks and Stones Message
http://www.stevenfurtick.com/sermon-series/sticks-and-stones/

This is an old well not that old sermon from Steven Furtick on Passion. He had four great points regarding passion in people. Isn't always true when we are passionate about something is what we always think about. I know some passionate people that I get to serve with every Sunday. These individuals love what they do in and for the house of our God. There are so many things that we can be passionate about. Think about what your passionate about and how that ties into your relationship with Christ? He gave us those passions but are we using them for selfish reasons or for kingdom reasons?

Point#1 Passionate People carry out small assignments with a willing spirit

Point #2 Passionate People must guard there strength or it will become a double weakness

Point#3 Passionate People interpret intimidation as an invitation to something great. Things that intimidate you; we must press pass the intimidation but see it as in invitation to experience God in a greater way

Point#4 Passionate People will fight to the finish in the battles that matter the most.

Five for Friday

So much has been going on these past two weeks and I honestly don't know what happened when but here are some pics from the past week.

 

Micah is learning how to Multi-Task. Watching TV and working on her laptop.

 

I went to Corpus for a Baby Shower of a friend. They have been so faithful in serving in His church and He has blessed them with a Baby Girl due in April.

 

Micah making sure her stuffed animal is ready for dinner.

 

We've gone to Soy. For Micah that is. She's been suffering from some constipation so we made the switch to see if it will help.

 

Eating her sister's Ice Cream. Once she saw Elena eating it she had to have it. She had it in her hair and all over her bib and hands.

 

The joys of memories.

Happy Friday and Happy Valentines Day!!!

Romans 8:28

Romans 8:28 "For we know that in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose."

I can't even begin to say how much this verse means to me. Twice this week I've either read or heard it. God is so good. I'm so thankful for the blessings and the favor He is pouring out on our church. He is pouring vision upon our Senior Pastor and upon my husband. He is answering prayers and opening doors. Things we wished and hoped for are slowly coming together. I'm so humbled and so very honored for this journey that God has my husband and I and our family on. It's not about what we want and it never has been. It's always and forever will be what God wants and what He wants to accomplish through us in our city. His will be done. So much has happened today and I wish I could go into more detail but let me say this. Romans 8:28.....in ALL THINGS God WORKS for the GOOD. No matter if it's a rough season or a bad day. No matter if it's a smooth season or the perfect day. God is working everything out for the good. He has His plans, He has His purpose laid out. He has called us; and my husband and I are going to be obedient. We are going to conquer our city and tear down the walls. I have no idea on where to begin but I know that God does. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but God does. We will be part of this for as long as He calls us too. We are part of a great church. Who loves people. Who wants to reach the lost and restore Hope and Life. 

Dear Lord,

I'm so thankful, so honored for this journey. For your calling on our life. 10 years ago when we surrendered our life to the ministry I never imagined where we would be today. Use us for your purpose and your will. Lead us and we will follow you faithfully. We are your servants Lord and we are grateful for the things you have provided and for the things you have in store for your church, your city and your people. 

Amen!!!!!

Snow, Sleet or Both?

This is what we woke up to at 5am on 2/6/14. Our first snow of the year. It really sounded more like sleet. All I know is it took my husband 45 minutes instead of 15 mintues to get to work but thank goodness he got there safely. Once it all stopped I went out and took a few pictures. Micah woke up and went to the back door and didn't know what she was seeing. She kept saying uh oh. It's not much but when you live in Texas it's a whole bunch. We don't know how to drive on this stuff in South Texas.

 

 

 Micah didn't know what this foreign substance was that was on our back porch.

 

 Snow? Sleet?

 

 It looked really nice just thankful it wasn't like the rest of the country getting the heavy stuff.

 

 This morning at 5am

 

This looks more like styrofoam crumbled up instead of snow.



Resilience

Resilience

 

I just wanted to share some points from the book that I've been reading and blogging about. This Chapter : Resilience was really great. Lots of times we have to have resilience to get going and keep moving when things get tough or when we do get knocked down or the wind knocked out. Leadership is not easy. It can be rewarding and challenging all at the same time. Pretty much like Texas weather. I really want to be encouraging though because I wouldn't trade the season my husband and I are in. We love being the Campus Pastors of our church. We love the people, our leaders and our church.

Here are some points from the book by Jodi Detrick:

When life knocks you down, let me encourage you to focus on the truth of Proverbs 24:16 “Though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.” That is resilience and it beats the Cringe Factor every time.

Great leaders overcome regret with resilience

Leaders are learners, and learners make mistakes

You will need resilience if you want to last in leadership

You are not defined by your last big mistake

Quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson, “Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a sprint to be cumbered with your old nonsense. This day is all that is good and fair. It is too dear, with its hopes and invitations, to waste a moment on yesterday.”

God has called us to a life of resilience even when things are too bad

So remember that God is in every detail of your life. Keep going and don't stop.

Five for Friday

Okay it's really hard to choose five photos from the week to share but these are worth posting about in my personal opinion. So here we go.

 

Katy Perry. Yes, I gave in and bought tickets to take my daughter to see Katy Perry in October. October that's 9 months away. Crazy thing is it will be here before we know it.

Student Ministry. I LOVE our Student Ministry and I especially LOVE showering gifts upon the girls. What cute things I found and it's a great JOY to my heart to be able to do this. GIVING is so important and so is APPRECIATION. So when you have a chance give a gift of appreciation to someone.

I'm so proud of Elena. Her degree will be in Social Work and since she's in her 2nd year of college it's time for volunteering. She has decided to volunteer at Heart to Heart Hospice. Wow!!! Is all I can say. She has a heart of compassion and God is doing great things through her.

Micah turned 1 1/2 on the 27th and since she really didn't eat cake at her 1st Birthday we decided to sing "Happy Birthday" and let her eat a cupcake. She isn't much for sweets but she really enjoyed her first cupcake.

Saturday was such a beautiful day and as my husband and students from our church played Flag Football, I enjoyed a walk in the park and Sewell Park with these two blessings.

 

So that was my week. I'm so thankful that it's Friday because tomorrow we are having fun with my wonderful nephew who until Micah arrived was our second child. Love him bunches!!!

Psalms 32:8

This verse came across my eyes when I was journaling. I love how God reminds us of His promises and what better way to start my day.

Psalms 32:8 "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with My eyes."

There are three words here the God is telling us to remember. Instruct, Teach and Guide. These three words are very powerful and meaningful. They explain to us what God will do and is doing.

I find great comfort in knowing that God will instruct us. They always say that the bible is Gods instruction book to us.

He will give us directions in our life and it's up to us to have that connection with Him where we can hear His voice. It important to follow instructions. Anyone will tell you that because if we don't follow instructions things go wrong. They fall apart and we get lost.

He also tells us He will teach us. Teachers play a very important role in our world. Without teachers we wouldn't be able to learn or understand. God is the greatest teacher. We wouldn't know how to act or  the proper way to live our lives. God teaches us so many things through His word. He teaches us how to love, how to serve, how to give, how to honor and so much more.

 Last but not least He says He will guide. Without a proper guide we will get lost.

So remember through every detail of our lives God is present and He is with us each step even when we don't feel like it. He is always there.

 

Stamina

As I continue to read this book about leadership and what qualities you should have to be a great leader in today's church I'm starting to ask myself WHY it took me so long to come across this book.

In the Chapter "Stamina" it really reflects on what it means to have stamina and steps to take to develop stamina. The author compares two different types of people. Here is what she has to say from her book.

There are Elevator Leaders and Stair Leaders. Here are a few points:

Elevator Leaders (Want a quick and easy ride to the top, skipping everything in between)
* Have to push the right button and wait for the right timing before the door opens.
* Going fast and easy you miss all the developing qualities that God has for you.

Stair Leaders (Putting one foot in front of the other, dealing with incremental levels of leadership)
* By taking stairs you can start at anytime from wherever you are-even at the lowest point.
* You open the doors yourself, you don't have to wait.
* You start where your at and with what's in front of you.
* If you just keep going you will eventually get to the place God wants you to be in your ministry or   leadership.

Why we need "Stamina" according to Jodi Detrick

 

Sometimes as leaders we say "If I had known it was going to be like this; I wouldn't have come." Ministry life is often hard. Being a leader of anything is frequently an uphill struggle, neither is for the faint of heart. There are certain things we face that require special stamina if we're to be effective leaders. Some are obvious-dealing with conflict or difficult people; the constant wear of decision making; working on large tasks and long range projects; guiding and motivating teams and working through transition. Many situations will find the resolve if we just keep showing up, letting time and Gods faithful relentless grace do their work of transformation.

This is my personal reflection of what I've learned from this chapter.
We can't rush through our life of leadership or ministry. Every season comes with new learning experiences. Good or Bad. We have to learn from all that we do. A conversation I had with my husband the other day consisted of us talking about decisions we made that we probably shouldn't have and I just told him that all we can do is learn from it. We can't grow as leaders if we don't ever make a mistake. Without mistakes God wouldn't be able to use those as teachable moments. We have to keep moving forward. I know at times I just want to lock myself up and reflect and figure it all out but that's not the answer. The answer is to just keep going. If we stop it's only for a moment. I can definitely relate to "Why we need Stamina. " All of the things listed are on our daily list as Campus Pastors. No one gave us a book. Oh, how I wish they did but all of this is learn as we go. Don't get me wrong we have great leaders who lead other campuses that we can go to for advice and we have.  I also know that with every move God has made in our life, He is leading, guiding and teaching us every step. So don't stop!! Keep moving even when it's hard and your in tears. It's all worth it in the end. I believe that with all my heart.

Sundays

Every Sunday I get up at 6:30am to start my day. At 7:00am my husband gets up and between 7:15 and 8:00am our youngest gets up. We leave the house around 8:00am or 8:15am drop off my husband and I take Micah to Taco Cabana for a taco and then go back to start our day at Church. From that time until we leave the church at 2:30pm we are go, go and going. Once we get her back in the car to go eat she is out like a light. It's such a blessing to know that she is growing up in church and even though she doesn't quite understand what is going on I know that God is going to rock her world once she does. He is preparing her for great things and our family doesn't see church as another thing we have to do but something we are honored and privileged to do. Serving is a big part of our family. From my husband and I being Campus Pastor's to our oldest daughter serving every Sunday with the Children's Ministry to our youngest being in class every week. We have been blessed with be able to do this for the past 8 1/2 years and many more to come for sure. We love our leaders, our volunteers, our members, our regular attenders, our children and our students. We love our community and love see life change all around us but most of all we love to see our own daughters love Jesus, love the church and love our community. It's tiring but it's so worth it in the end.

Five for Friday

Five for Friday

 

We painted last Friday at home. I couldn't quite figure out what my husband did and I really didn't like mine. It was too plain but we had a blast and it was very relaxing according to Chris (My daughters "Friend")

Saturday was our adventure Saturday. We try to leave the house to do something besides sitting on the couch all day watching TV. Which Micah doesn't like by the way. This girl loves and I mean loves to be outside. {Photo at Botantical Gardens Austin, TX}

 



Waterfalls @ Botantical Gardens

Sunday during the Football Games we had an unexpected visitor. Micah the Ghost showed up. Each time she would bump into something she would laugh so much. It was awesome just to watch her and knowing that at this age 1 1/2 she has NO FEAR.

Church. Love It. Love our meetings on Mondays with our leaders. Love the people and Love our community.

Ability

STICKS AND STONES WEEK 2 BY Steven Furtick

http://www.stevenfurtick.com/

 

 

Every week I try my best to listen to Steven Furticks messages. I download them on my Podcast to my IPhone so when I'm in the car I just plug in and listen. This month he is doing a series called Sticks and Stones. I actually blogged about the first week on January 15th http://www.garzaclarinda.blogspot.com/2014/01/am-i.html you can go back and read that post. He talks about the fact that we are anointed to accomplish what God has called us to do but it doesn't always mean that our assignment changes. We could keep doing the same thing were doing with greater purpose and meaning.

 

 

This week his message is about Ability.



* God expects us to grow in our gifts that He has given us.

* He also said that even if people don't know your name or you God does. He knows where to find you when He's ready to use you.

 

Here are four things you need to know to grow your gifts.

 

1) Diligence-We need to develop what God has deposited inside of us. Many times people want the benefit without developing. God puts our gifts inside of us but we have to be willing to work them out of us for His purpose.

2) Excellence-God deserves our excellence. Not perfection but our excellence.

3) Uniqueness-We were all created differently. Not one of us is the same.

4) Experience-God will arrange every experience in your life to serve His purpose if your willing to embrace it.

 

We need to offer our gifts to God and to serve Him not people. Only God can work though what your willing to work on.

 

I know that God gave me gifts and I know in my heart that each day He is using my gifts for His purpose. I also know that He has greater plans for myself and for my family. We are not all the same and we can't envy the gifts that others have because we have no clue what they did to develop those gifts. See God created each of us with certain gifts and like Pastor Furtick says it's our responsibility to develop those gifts and to use them for His purpose.

Chapter 3: Humility

I really never understood what this word really meant until today. Humility means it's less about what you do to yourself and more about how you view and treat those around you. It starts from the inside and it's a "to" thing and it's "to" everyone not just the privileged few.

Christ tell us of certain leadership traps in Matthew 23 and how they can effect us from be a great leader. We are to go for the title only no but we are to go for the ministry. To many times we make it about the title and the authority it brings to have the title. Jesus talked about how the pharisees put burdens on others but were not willing to lift a finger to help. They cared more about position than actually doing the work. Unfortunately I've served with people like this and it didn't always work out for the best. 

In Matthew 23 Christ talks about Pride and Hypocrisy. Here are some points from the book I've been blogging about. Jesus-Hearted Woman by Jodi Detrick.

 

Preaching over practice (3b) "they do not practice what they preach"

Showmanship over substance (5a) "everything they do is for show"

Prominence over preferring others (6a) "and how they love to sit"

Star syndrome over servanthood (7a) "they enjoy the attention they get on the streets"

Title over task (7b) "and they enjoy being called "Rabbi'"

Pride can disqualify us from long-term, effective ministry quicker and more permanently, than just about anything. I've seen this. I know it can happen. It's not a pretty thing to see someone whose life is full of pride and not be able to see it with their own eyes. 

God calls us to be humble, to be a servant. To know it's about others not just us. We are here for a greater purpose. We are able to serve not because it's a checklist in our life but because it's an honor. This applies to everyone. 

1) Humility is a quality God loves and is looking for

2) Humility puts others at ease (find rest)

3) Humility makes us more like Jesus (attitude)

4) Humility lets you be part of the secret service (giving/serving in secret)

5) Humility allows us to repair broken relationships (saying your sorry first)

6) Humility allows us to ask for help (don't have to do it alone)

7)Humility is a package deal (prerequisite to a healthily relationship)

8) Humility gives us a new perspective

9) Humility helps you find greatness in unexpected places (gratitude)

10) Humility protects us from crashing (when pride comes then comes disgrace but with humility comes wisdom)

I think. I know God has prepared me for where I am now. I appreciate my Pastor and his wife before us and I've learned valuable lessons from them. As I pour myself into books about leadership especially this one I'm seeing how this applies to my life now. How it's like looking in a mirror and just thinking of the conversation I had yesterday after church with my husband. I know God has place this book in my path for a reason and I pray that you learn as much as I do from what I'm sharing and how it can apply to your ministry or you life in general. 

Five for Friday

I've seen a lot of people doing this so I thought it would be fun to post five pictures that I've taken throughout the week and post about them. So here we go. My first Five for Friday.

My first born. I'm so proud of all her accomplishments and her compassionate heart that she has.

 

My second born who is thankful it's FRIDAY!!!! Do you know how hard it is to get her to smile?

 

Yesterday we had the privilage of watching our Worship Team play at Fields of Faith at San Marcos High School. I'm so honored to serve with such awesome people.

 

After almost five years or more I finally gave in and bought some Nikes. I'm more of a New Balance kinda of gal but decided to change it up since everyone else in my home wears Nike. 

 

Ahh!!!! This makes my day in the morning. Coffee from Mochas. I finally got the name of the girl who always and I mean always knows my order. Kaitlynn is her name. Thanks for knowing my order.

 

 

So there you go. Part of this week. Praying for an awesome weekend with my husband and daughters.

 

 

CZ

Authenticity

God is Good!!! All the time is a phrase my husband uses every Sunday at church. I love it and I love to hear people respond. God is good and this book that He has placed in my life is scary on track with my life right now. Just last night I was telling my husband how tiring it is to feel like you have to be this certain person when you carry the title of Pastor or Pastors Wife. Its not right that when you say those words people automatically make a judgement about you. You feel that you can't be you. The real you. The one who has an argument with your spouse at church before church. The one that doesn't always agree on what people say but you feel like you can't say anything of fear that they might walk out.

Today's chapter is about that: Be Authentic. Being You. Will the real Clarinda stand up and be herself. Not worrying about everyone else but just be who God created you to be and love yourself. 

Christ talked about be a pharisaical hypocrite which means being different in secret than you are in public. Integrity means being whole or undivided...the same all the way through. Now I would never have a public argument with my husband in front of everyone but I do know that when I'm upset I get very quite and people who do know me (especially those I work with) know that I'm upset. 

I think as humans most of us will play to the crowd because of our fear. We say what people want us to say. Saying all the right things but still not being authentic. I don't think this is the life that Christ wanted us to have. He was the same all the time. He was who He was and if people didn't like it I'm sure He didn't worry over it like I would do. 

Here are some points from the book: 

A Jesus -Hearted Woman tells the truth about the messy parts of her life. Of course, you don't tell everyone your entire life story but you do share it when it applies to someone else's situation that they are going through. Your just real about yourself. Now being in Student Ministry for 8 years it was easy to share your life experience with students because if you could help then not make a mistake you made growing up then that was beneficial. I've made plenty of bad choices in my former years but I wouldn't change that because I wouldn't be who I am today. 

A Jesus- Hearted Woman is approachable and relatable. I want people to be able to approach me and to talk to me. I know I don't like the feeling when I go to a conference or another church and long to talk to the Pastor's wife or other leaders but you get the feeling that they wouldn't make time for you because your out of their league. Now my husband doesn't have that fear but I do. That is just my insecurity that I've allowed to paralyze me. 

My point is we just need to be who we are and who God created us to be. Anything more or less is saying God didn't create us perfectly. When in fact we are prefect in His eyes and that is all that matters. So be YOU and not who you think the other person wants you to be. Live a life free from conforming to other peoples thoughts and just be YOU.

Be confident and authentic.

Confidence

When I saw this book posting on someones post I didn't think twice about buying it. Of course, that was over a month ago. This morning I had time to actually open it on my Ipad and start reading it. It's really funny how God works things out because just yesterday I was starting to realize I have a lot to offer. I'm blessed at my job and I know I have lots to offer to our church. I just lack one important thing. CONFIDENCE!!! I'm afraid. Plain and simple. I was writing in my journal this morning about being more confident and it's not surprising that the first chapter in this book about leadership qualities is about none other than "Confidence." As I go through this book "The Jesus-Hearted Woman" I'll blog about whats stuck out to me in each chapter. So here are some excerpts that I've taken from Chapter 1: Confidence and a side note of how it applies or how I would like it to apply to my life.

God uses reluctant leaders (I am a very reluctant person because I fear of what people think and of how I won't be able to do it right)

Insecurity is not humility. It’s me focused and is more concerned with self-protection than risking rejection or pain for the benefit of others. (This really says alot about myself)

A person with gracious confidence:

·         Is comfortable in her own skin and doesn’t try to mimic they styles or gifts of others; she doesn’t yearn for someone else’s shoes. (False: I'm not comfortable in my own skin and I'm very critical of what I do and how I do it)

·         Can lead and follow at the same time (True)

·         Isn’t afraid of the spotlight but doesn’t see it either; she is quick to shine it on others when she has a chance (I'm terrified of the spotlight because I fear of what people think of me)

·         Presents her thoughts and ideas without having to have the last word (True)

·         Accepts both praise and criticism without setting her heart too completely on either (True)

·         Is satisfied to give her best for the benefit of others and has a quick word of encouragement when she sees someone else doing the same (True: When I'm not afraid to say my thoughts or give my opinions)

·         Realizes that she will likely still have butterflies before she steps behind a podium, may still feel intimidated around certain leaders and may second-guess decisions, but doesn’t let those feelings affect her actions and reactions. (When I had to speak on Chick Night, I was going over and over what I would say and I didn't say half of what I thought in my head weeks, days, hours, minutes or seconds before I went on stage. I was praying no one would notice how scared I was or how stupid I sounded to myself)

·         Rests easy after she’s done her best (even if it’s not perfect) knowing that outcomes are up to God and the free-will responses of others. (False: I will analyze everything and how I would've done it differently)

·         Knows she will have “off days, “so cuts herself some slack she would cut others. (Never)

·         Laughs at herself and learns from her mistakes. (Never do this. I'm very hard on myself)

Matthew 5:14-16 says “we are the light of the world and to “let our lights so shine before others that they would see our good works and glorify the Father in heaven.” It means we’re  willing to actually “shine” (instead of shrink back) “before others” (not just privately to God) and let them “see our good works”-the things that we can do well, and do for the sake of others, in order to bring glory to God.

“Every experience God gives us, every person He puts into our life, is the perfect preparation for the future that only He can see.” (I've really thought about this alot since I read it. I can make a mental picture of the people God has placed in my life and how it's preparing me to step out and be courageous. It's taken me a long time but this book opened my eyes to what I need to do)

We should pay close attention to the passions God is stirring in our hearts. (I have a lot of passions in my life. I love to plan, organize, to train, to encourage, to bring life into people and allow them to see their potential (not sure why it's hard to see mine) and to see students have fun and love Jesus)

It’s not where you start, but where you’re willing to go, that matters. (I seriously have a problem because I'm willing to go. I really am. I'm just terrified of that first step)

 

Am I?

ANOINTED

 

I heard a great message this morning in regards to being anointed. Anointing means being set apart and chosen for certain works. To be singled out with favor always comes with responsibility. I think we are all anointed by God to do certain things in our life and sometimes it's hard to figure out just what He is calling us to do. A few things stuck out to me during the sermon by Steven Furtick

 

1) The ones that feel left out are the ones God has set apart for a special purpose. God is saving you for something.

 

2) Don't worry about the plans just do what God tells you and let Him work out all the details.

 

3) Anointing sets you free to realize that you have nothing to prove but only one to please.

 

 

Each of these points struck a cord with my heart. A lot of times I feel left out of the ministry that we have been called too. I say we even though I sometimes feel it was just my husband who was called and I'm just along for the ride. I know I have a purpose and for years I've been trying to find what I'm meant to do. Its very frustrating and I know some of it has to do with fear. Fear of failure, fear of disappointing and just plain old FEAR. Another area is the plans. Plans, Plans and Plans....in my current situation with my daughter and her unexplainable fevers I'm trying my hardest to understand the plan and purpose behind it all. The details are something I like to know so I know how to prepare but this current situation I'm totally in the dark. It's a daily struggle that God and I talk about everyday. And last but not least is having nothing to prove but only one to please. That is a tough pill to swallow because I feel I have something to prove to myself. Being a follower of Christ, wife, mom, sister, daughter, co-worker and friend I wear many hats. I want to do it all and for any woman it's hard to ask for help. This message said a lot about only needing to please God with all that I do each and every day. Live a  life pleasing to Him. Be a wife that pleases Him. Be the kind of mom that pleases Him, etc..... I still have a lot to learn and accepting everything and begin to process what I need to do is really easier said that actually done. My husband can vouch for that. Less talk and more action is something we could all try.  

 



Work Together

This mornings verse was "God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God". Causes EVERYTHING. That means that these fevers that my baby has been suffering will work out. It means that our church will see growth. It means that my marriage will be stronger than ever before. That our student ministry will see blessings with students lives changed and more students reached than ever before. That God will work it all out for the good not for bad. God wants to see our lives and our ministries blessed and even though we have to go through rough patches or dry seasons God has it all worked out. Sometimes its much easier to say it but even harder to believe it when your actually going through it.

Lord, I pray for my belief in You to be stronger than its ever been before. Forgive me for my doubt and for my lack of faith. I know You are working behind the scenes in every area of my life and in our church and Your glory will be revealed when its all said and done. Thank you for your patience and for loving me. 

My Twiggy

This is my precious little girl who for the last few months has had some unexplainable fevers every month and for one month it was every two weeks. These fevers aren't low grade, there high and can last any where from 3 to 5 days. For the past month we've been visiting an infectious disease doctor in Austin and she's had many blood tests done to try and find the cause. In August she had tubes in her ears, blood drawn, a TB Test, and abdominal ultrasound and this coming week she will have a CT Scan on her head and neck. My prayer right now is to find an answer to these fevers. The doctor has ruled out recurring fever syndrome because we don't have any type of European or Mediterranean    heritage in our blood line. So that rules that out. She's also too young to consider removing her tonsils which I've read could help.  She's only 17 months and it's really hard to understand why this is happening.  I just don't understand but I am thankful everyday that she is fever free and that at this current time that is all we are battling. Thank you Jesus and I praise Him each day for the blessing she is to our family. 

Friday Sunrise

What a great way to start a Friday. The last holiday weekend. Yes, you read right. Because the work week was short this is considered the last holiday weekend in my book. Next week is a full work week and that is when I offically start the year.

What day is it?

Its just the second day of the new year and I'm already lost on my days. It's crazy how vacation and all the fuss about a new year can throw you off. Sometimes we have to be careful not to allow the craziness and busyness of life to throw us off too. I really need to stay focused on what's important or someone else will help me lose focus. It's funny how that word has been in my vocabulary lately. We are planning a Focus Weekend with our students and the new series they are starting this Sunday just so happens to be called Focus. What are the odds?

2013

Before I start blogging again I should say what has happened in my life over the past year and since my last post. In 2011 my oldest Elena became a Junior in High School and in December 2011 I found out I was pregnant. Yeah, a huge shock but a blessing and prayer that was answered on Gods timing and not my own. Fast forward through 2012 to July when I had Micah and when she turned one month, my oldest daughter Elena entered her Senior Year of High School. In February 2013 we became the Campus Pastors of our church, Elena graduates from SMHS, Micah turns one and we go on vacation to DisneyWorld, a first for all of us. 2013 was full of lots of firsts and many blessings and as Pastors a definite learning experience and we are continuing to learn through Gods guidance and grace. I couldn't come back to blogging without giving a background of where I've been and I have no clue what 2014 holds for my family, for my marriage, for myself or for our church. I have to admit though that is the fun part. So here is to a great 2013 and to 2014.